Iris
by HoveringthroughoutTime
Summary: it's love...but there are secrets in his eyes...and mine.LegolasOC slight alternate universeDisclaimer: Any character you recognize from the books of Tolkien are NOT mine...but all the OC's are.
1. Prelude to a tragedy

Every night, for as long as I can remember, I dream awake. The world is in slumber, but I am awake, watching the moon wax and wane at will. It is times like these when I feel it most; the silence so loud and deafening, yet so still. I always feel lonely in the silence, and empty…like a part of me is missing.'

"But what part?" I whispered to the darkness.

It was another one of my many sleepless nights. I turned to the old grandfather clock reading quite clearly its black painted roman numerals: one o'clock in the morning; empty one o'clock. I turned my gaze back to my open window. A chill wind blew in from the outside, fluttering the blue flowered curtains and giving the room the smell of freshly cut grass. I smiled softly and inhaled deeply, trying to lose myself in that smell.

I'd always loved being outside. There was a freedom in having no walls to hold you in. Being one with all the elements of nature, God, in all their glory.

I gazed towards the sky, trying to ignore my empty feelings; but there is not true distraction in silence. Feeling very lost, I closed my eyes, and tried to welcome the reluctant sandman. Maybe he would come tonight, and take me into my imaginary world. The one that I escaped to every night, and everyday.


	2. Coming home

"Wake on my air plane

wake on my airplane

my skin is bare, my skin is theirs…

wake on my airplane, awake on my airplane

my skin is bare, my skin is theirs…

I…feel like a newborn

I feel like a newborn

awake on my airplane, awake on my airplane I-

feel so real"

-Take a Picture by Filter

It was cold the next morning, and I slid out of bed, sucking in my breath at the drop in temperature. The sky was streaked with pinks and reds, and for some odd reason the sunrise gave me hope. I padded down the hallway and into the kitchen as a realization struck me. Today was October 2nd, today was my birthday.

" I wonder if anyone will remember?" I asked the silence, " I wonder…if they'll care?"

As always, there was no answer; just me alone in my kitchen, talking to myself, searching for answers. Finding nothing appetizing in the refrigerator, I went back to my room to dress for…I didn't know what.

I rifled through my closet pulling out a pink sundress, and slid it over my head. Running a brush through my hair, I finished off my morning routine and grabbed my art supplies.

I was in the mood to paint, for something had been on my mind, haunting me. In my dreams I saw the shadowed figure of someone, always the same someone, always when I closed my eyes. A tall lithe figure, blond hair catching the sunlight. Try as I might, I could not dismiss this image, or erase it from my memory. His face, always the same, somehow I knew that-the only problem was, I never actually saw it. There were always shadows in the dream, hiding him from me.

No matter, my subconscious would remember what my conscious mind forgot. Climbing into my battered car I drove for a while, in search of someplace where I could have solitude to paint. I smiled, thinking of one place where I could find this sought after solitude; the forest.

There weren't many of them left, and this saddened me. They were killing the earth slowly, like a cancer. Soon it would be no more…What would happen when the trees were all gone, the rape of the earth complete. It wasn't as if I wasn't participating in it, burning exhaust into the already filthy air, crushing grass with my tires and spending wasting paper…I shook my head, it was my birthday, a day for celebration, a day to erase all bad thoughts…and to remember.

Yeah.

I pulled my car near a tree and parked. Green, lush green as far as I could see; the forest, my first love. I slid out of the car and brushed strands of tangled black hair out of my eyes. The forest never questioned, never judged. It didn't care who I was, where I came from, what I looked like. Maybe that's why I loved it so.

I went deeper, smelling the rich foliage, carrying my paints and easel. The woods were full of life, I felt it all around me, and the trees greeted me with their warmth.

Suddenly I was hit by a familiar scent, drifting along the breeze, washing over me. A woodsy smell unlike these woods, sweeter I suppose. I had smelled it before, perhaps, in a dream.

I quickly set up my easel and began to paint, almost unseeing. Everything escaped my vision at these times. I was swallowed up in the strokes of yellow, the flashes of green, seeing only the figure from my dreams.

When I had finished, the sun had come close to setting and I stepped back, admiring my artwork. My figure had a face, a face I didn't know I knew in my heart.

"You have captured him," a voice said, jolting me out of my thoughts of confusion. I spun towards the direction of the sound. An old man stepped out of the shadows, cloaked in white. He felt very old, and yet not old at all. The expression in his blue eyes was one of mirth, and it somehow calmed my rattled nerves. He smiled at my expression, and then turned his attention back to my painting. " You have him utterly Linwe, it is as if I am staring him in the face." He came closer, "you have changed my dear."

"I know you…" I marveled at his sudden familiarity, "but I don't know how. Who have I painted? To you he is someone, but to me, he is only a figure from my dreams."

" You will remember," He smiled again, gaining my trust.

"Will I?"

"He is your husband Linwe."

"My…my husband?" I blinked in shock, as my mind recalled this old figure.

"I am"-

"Gandalf the white," the words left my mouth before I knew them.

"That's quite right," it was his turn to be surprised.

"How? Why? I don't understand."

"Those are things I will allow the prince to explain to you, but now…we must return" The sparkle was back in his eyes.

"Return to where?"

"To Middle Earth, to Mirkwood, your home."

_There was a flash, then a blinding white light…_


	3. It has been too long for us

"You can open your eyes now Linwe Greenleaf of the Mirkwood Realm, you are home." I opened my eyes, and what I saw took away my breath. Large, beautiful trees toward above us, their branches heavy with silvery foliage. Before me sprawled a large palace, intricately connected with the forest. It seemed to be made into the very trees themselves, but there was a…harmony about it, almost as if the trees didn't mind…Whoa.

"It's beautiful. Everything is beautiful Gadalf." He led me to the palace doors, which sprung open as if someone had been watching. Standing in the doorway of the palace where two figures, but my eyes focused on the second one first. He looked at me with love in his eyes-_my eyes_. Large and lavender, his eyes stood in contrast to his porcelain skin. His nose, long and slightly upturned, gave his angular face a youthful look. Everything about his was young, save for his eyes.

They were the eyes of my father, and as I looked into them the lavender began to swim with tears.

" Ada," I whispered, reaching out a honey colored hand. The tears spilled down his cheeks, and he quickly pulled me into a tight embrace.

"You're home…my child is finally home." He kissed the top of my head, wet with his tears. Pulling back slightly, he studied me, as if memorizing my features. "You are even more beautiful than I remember. Do you remember me?"

I squinted slightly; trying desperately to remember this man in front of me…nothing came.

"I-I wish that I did, I want to-but, there is nothing." The disappointment was evident in his eyes, yet he smiled encouragingly.

"You will remember in time. It is…best, to take things slow." I nodded in acceptance, suddenly remembering the figure to the side of my father.

"Oh! How rude of me, um…hi." He smiled back at me, a noble smile. He wore a crown of silver leaves twined together…he almost looked familiar.

"And this is King Thranduil of the Woodland Realm, your father in law."

"Your father is right. You are even more beautiful than you were, last I saw you."

"Thank you your highness," I looked all around me at the fair elves, why was I so dark? Were there browned skinned elves? Did elves have racism? Ada saw my discomfort, and an expression of sadness flitted across his face. It was gone just as quickly as it came, replaced by the joyous look he held before.

"Now, I must be leaving", Gandalf said suddenly, "many, many things to do."

"What?" I asked in shock," but, but"-

"Gandalf is leaving?" A foreign voice said.


	4. This picture

Every fiber of my being responded to the sound of that voice. I knew its owner, somewhere in my heart. "You cannot leave just yet, at least not before saying goodbye."

I heard the voice and its owner draw closer and slowly closed my eyes, my heart in my throat.

"Legolas, my dear elf," Gandalf said, "I only came to bring you a message."

"Message?" His voice was soft and sweet to my ears. I opened my eyes and my painting came to life. He was beautiful; tall and fair, with pail silvery blond hair, delicate features and eyes the color of the sea at dusk. His hair was in slight disarray, and he held a beautifully carved bow in his hands. He turned, following Gandalf's eyes, and looked at me. He blinked several times, as if seeing a mirage, and the bow slipped from his grasp.

"Linwe?" He whispered, his eyes wide. "Is it truly you? Or have I strayed into a dream?" He came closer, "If so, it is a most glorious dream, and by the valor, I pray never to awaken."

"It is no dream, I am Linwe," I said, not able to tear my eyes away. Inside, my heart was bursting, my nerves tangled in knots.

"Melamin," he took my hands, kneeling at my feet, "it has been too long for us, Linwe of Mirkwood. " He kissed both of my hands, then looked up into my eyes.

"I've seen you in my dreams, Legolas, I only wish that I could remember you." I smiled sadly; again my heart was desperate to remember my past.

"You-remember nothing?" He asked softly, standing upright.

" …my heart remembers."

"Then there is hope," he said, all light returning to his face.

"Where…did everyone go?" I asked, looking around in shock; Gandalf, King Thranduil, and my father had left us alone.

"I think they wanted to give us time alone. What has Gandalf told you?" He picked up his bow, strapping it to his back. We began walking, and I shrugged, carrying my art supplies.

"Only that I am your wife, an elf, and nothing else."

"Is that a painting?" He asked, eyeing what I had covered with a sheet.

"Yes."

"May I see it?"

"Um…okay." He took it from my hands, as if it were a breakable object; his fingers brushing mine gently. His blue eyes widened with visible pleasure, upon seeing that it was him.

"You have me utterly. How? You must remember something." He gently placed the cover over it. "Come, we will return to the palace, where this may be unharmed." He looked at me again, his eyes tender under the glow of the sun.

"There, there's a lot I don't know…I have so many questions." I looked away from his eyes; they made my stomach flutter, and my heart beat swiftly.

"I shall answer your questions to the best of my ability Melamin." Melamin? I scrunched my brow.

"What does that mean?" I asked, following him into the palace.

"What does what mean?" He led me up the stairs.

"The name you keep calling me." the palace was beautiful.

"Melamin?"

"That's the one."

"My love…my life. That is what you are." He opened an ornate wooden door, to reveal a vast library. "We shall place your painting here for now until I can find an attendant to hang it on my wall." He lay it against the wall in the library.

"You would have my work in your room?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Why not?" He asked tucking a tendril of hair behind my ear. As he did so, his fingers brushed its sensitive tip, and I shuddered involuntarily at his cool touch. The door to the library, which was slightly ajar, was pushed aside suddenly by palace attendants who had just obviously been told of my arrival.

------------

The female attendants, whose names where Tinuel and Lutherian, were quite characters I learned. They led me out of the library away from my rather…unnerving husband. I was assaulted from all sides with questions.

"Where were you?"

"How old are you?"

"We've missed a princess in these parts," Tinueil said, "and so exotic to behold you are." She touched my arm, "your skin."

"Yeah, it's brown." I said, slightly annoyed.

"It's lovely," said Lutherain, "and the prince, did you behold his face?"

"Yes," said Tinuel, "he has returned to us."

"I wasn't under the impression that he'd…left," I gazed all around me, at what was to be my chambers.

There was a large ornate king-sized bed dressed in white with sheer curtains surrounding it. There was a polished wooden vanity by a door that led to what looked like a bathroom. Adorned with many perfumes, brushes, and hair ornaments it resembled something out of a dream. I slowly explored the room, to the amusement of my watchful attendants.


	5. Confusion and a red rose

"Does everyone dress like that where you come from?" Lutherian asked curiously. I looked down at my sleeveless lowbacked sundress.

"Oh, no, not everyone." I opened the closet, fingering the beautiful elvish gowns. They were all colors of the spectrum, blues, whites, every color I could imagine. I ran my hand over a blue velvet gown, and my mind flashed to memory.

"_I love you…more than anything," Legolas said, stroking my cheek._

"_Then why must you go, why are you leaving me?" I cried, resting my head on his chest._

"_Because melamin, Middle Earth hangs in the balance, surely you understand?" He pulled away to look into my eyes, searching them with his own._

"_I do Legolas, I will just miss you so," I traced one of his eyebrows with my fingertips. "My love is selfish Legolas, I am not good enough for you," I looked down, suddenly ashamed.-_

I blinked, my mind returning to the present. Lutherian and Tinuel were looking at me strangely.

"Princess?" Tinuel questioned gently.

"Hm, sorry," I turned to look at her," I want to wear this gown." They exchanged looks.

"Certaintly," Tinuel said quickly. Lutherian began to place jewels and combs on the dresser.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" Tinuel asked, in a failed attempt to look innocent.

"Like you know something I don't."

"We know lots of things you don't," said Lutherain, "now come, we must prepare you." She unzipped my dress, and it fell to the floor.

"Prepare me for what?" I covered myself with my hands.

"The prince has requested an audience," Tinuel held the velvet blue gown in her arms. It looked extremely small compared to my thicker waist.

"Where these gowns?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes…before…"Tinuel trailed off.

"Well, um…I don't think my waist is small enough," I eyed the dress. Tinuel looked at me, then at the dress, then back at me again. Although she was silent, her eyes agreed.

"Never fear," Lutherian chirped," That's what corsets are for…

After they had squeezed me within an inch of my life, they wet my hair in attempts to tame the unruly mess." Good luck," I said, as Tinuel tried to run a comb through it.

"I think," she said after a minute," that we will need some of those rose mint leaves." Lutherian left the room, returning later with a glass vial full to the brim of clear liquid. Tinuel poured all of it on my hair and combed it through. Deftly, and with the expertise of someone who has been dressing hair for years, she braided my hair intricately, leaving some of it loose. They adorned it with a thin silver crown, carved into vines and rose.

"Mithril," I whispered, looking closer.

"You'll remember. In no time at all you'll be completely recovered," said Lutherain, standing back to admire her work. "Now look," she turned me towards the mirror over the vanity, and I marveled at my reflection. The gown was low necked, lined with a silver material; it was a tight fit even with the corset. The corset…had pushed everything up so that the low neckline was quite revealing. They had pulled my hair back, so that the elvish ears I had always hid, thinking them a deformity, were prominent and visible. The dark blue of my dress, brought out the blue in my lavender eyes, a strange blue that seemed to be lit from behind. They contrasted with the dark tone of my complexion. I looked…elvish…I shook my head, stifling a smile.

"You both did a great job," I hugged them both," thank you."

"I am sure the prince will find you irresistible." Tinuel said slyly, winking.

"Cute." There was a knock on the door, which I answered with relief. Legolas lingered in the doorway, a single flower in his hand. When he saw me, his breath caught in his throat, and his eyes widened.

"How exquisite you are," he whispered, "no, I cannot describe your beauty with that word." He said something in elvish, and although I did not understand it, I felt my face flush.

"Thank you," I said, my gratitude bringing a look of extreme pleasure to his blue eyes.

"Here, I brought this for you," he gently twined the flower into my hair; it was red, contrasting with the rich velvet blue of my gown.

"Oh, thank you," he took my arm gently, and began to escort me down the hallway.

"Do you remember that dress?" he said evenly stealing a glance at my face.

"Yes, and no," I looked at him, " I touched it, while I was looking through the closet, and I think it gave me a flashback…a –a memory." His hand traveled down my arm, and his fingers twined through mine.

"You wore that dress the day I left to join the fellowship of the ring, surely you remember that?" His eyebrows raised in question.

"All that I remember is you saying that you had to leave, and my not wanting you to go…I didn't think I was good enough for you," I said.

"You said- your love was selfish Melamin."

I dared to look into his eyes, and the intensity I saw in their crystal depths startled the nervous sensations racing through me.


	6. What is a Youth

"Legolas, how did we meet?" He looked out into the forest a moment, a smile playing on his lips

"I was walking through the woods one morning, many years ago; we were quite young then. I was lost in thought, pondering something, when I heard a voice." His eyes sparkled as he spoke, and I longed to remember, "It was clear and beautiful, and I drew closer to the sound…and then my eyes beheld you.

"Did I look the same then?" I had almost managed to wriggle my hand out of his grasp when his fingers twined tighter.

"No," We continued walking.

"So how did I look?"

"You were very beautiful; as you are now…you have changed little."

"You still have not answered my question Legolas."  
"I know. You were…shorter." He smirked, and I relaxed my hand in his grip. He looked at me a moment, searching my face, his eyes lingering on my lips for just a moment.

I turned my focus to the forest, allowing my eyes to wander over the greenery. This forest held mystery, and secrets.

I wondered, as I stared into the open, if any of those secrets were mine, and would I ever remember? I hummed absently under my breath, picking a flower from a bush.

"Linwe, that's the song." Legolas' eyes were wide with joy, "That's the song you sand in the woods." He pulled me close suddenly, kissing me with an intensity that stole my breath. The kiss was all fire and desperation. He released me slowly, and I steadied myself against a tree nearby. "I'm sorry…well, no…I don't think I am," He watched my face, as I regained my senses.

"Okay," I said under my breath, "I can do this, breathe Linwe." His laughter rang out clear and resonating.

"Are you alright, I hadn't realized one kiss would have such an effect on you."

"Well…I was um…surprised," I tucked my hair behind my ear, not meeting his eyes.

"Will you sing the song?"

"Uh, now?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Yes, if you do not mind," he raised his eyebrows back at me.

"Um, okay."

_What is a youth?_

_Impetious fire._

_What is a maid?_

_ice and desire_

_the world wags on…_

_a rose will bloom_

_it then will fade:_

_so does a youth, so does the fairest maid_

_There comes a time when one sweet smile_

_has its season for a while_

_Then loves in love with me…_

_Some they think only to marry, _

_others to tease and tarry_

_mine is the very best parry-_

_cupid he rules us all_

_Caper the cape, but sing me the song_

_Death will come soon, to rush us along, _

_sweeter than honey and bitter as gall_

_love is a task and it never will pall_

_Sweeter than honey and bitter as Gall_

_cupid he rules us all_

_A rose will bloom_

_it then will fade…so does a youth_

_so does the fairest maid_

I stopped singing, ending the song. He was silent, his lips pursed in thoughtful contemplation.

"That was exactly the way you sang it when we met."

"Really?"

"Yes." We walked in the quiet silence, and I thought how true the song was. Beauty will fade as will youth; this was one of the only things that were dependable with life. Love, love was fickle, waxing and waning at will like the moon. Since this was so, how was one to know when love was real, and was like the moon. Since this was so, how was on to know when love was real, and what was love even? Was I in love when I get married? If I was, wouldn't I remember? My heart held something for Legolas, I knew it wasn't empty, but was it love? _What was love_? I sighed heavily, lost in my confusion.

"Linwe, what are you thinking about?"

"Um, things."

"Tell me." He looked at me with earnest.

"I was thinking, how true that song is. Love is fickle."

"Not my love." He looked into my eyes.

"All love is fickle and changeable." I shook my head.

He held me by the shoulders, "not my love Linwe."

"So your love must be special then," I said.

"When an emotion is fickle, it was never real to begin with."

"How do you know?" I challenged.

"I just know…don't you?" He raised his eyebrows. "What has happened to you Linwe, this is not you."

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Poem by Eugene Valter...my favorite poem.


	7. Stranger

_"You're a stranger, so-  
What do I care?_

_You'll vanish today;  
not the first time I here"_

_Stranger-A perfect Circle_

"It feels like me Legolas, and it sounds like me," his grip had tightened on my shoulders a bit, and I was becoming uneasy about it.

"It is not you, you believe in love."

"I don't know what I believe Legolas," I pulled out of his grasp," I don't even know who I am." I turned away from him, blinded by sudden tears.

"Linwe," he said his voice suddenly soft, "I am sorry. Please, let's not argue, you have only just arrived." He turned me towards him, his hands gentle on my shoulders." I'm so sorry." He kissed a tear from my cheek, "I'm forgetting that your memory will take more than a day to return." He smiled suddenly, "Now please, dry your eyes; I can't bear to see them so filled with tears." He slipped a handkerchief from his pocket and gently brushed the tears from my cheeks, make me long for any memories of my past. "Better?"

"Yes," I replied, smiling back at him. As we returned to the palace in silence, I mulled over what had just happened. It seemed funny to me, comical almost, how strange the mind was, how strong emotions affected people…affected me.

"When can I see you again?" He asked when he saw my attempt to return to my room.

"I don't know, I …I need to be alone for a while."

"How long is awhile?" He sounded like a child, I had to smile. "Please Linwe, I have missed you so. It is only my love of being around you that cause me to badger you so."

"His blue eyes looked so earnest, they melted away any annoyance I was beginning to feel.

"Come be alone with me then, Legolas." His face lit up at my words, like when the sun hits the surface of the ocean. We returned to my room, and I went over to the window settling on the soft cushions. I clasped my hands in my lap and gazed out into Mirkwood, the mystery that was my home. So much had happened, and all in one day. I closed my eyes, overwhelmed with emotions. When I opened them, Legolas was sitting across from me, watching expressions flit across my face.  
"I read a book once, called Stranger in a Strange Land, about a man who grew up in another world, but who was originally from Earth. Whenever something troubled him, or he felt overwhelmed, he'd slip into a catatonic-sleep like state. You know, to help him figure himself out first." I shook my head and laughed a bit, "I wish I could do that now." Legolas squinted, a puzzled expression on his alabaster face.

"I don't understand, what is cataphonic?"

"Catatonic. It's when the body physically slows down purposefully, but the mind remains active." After my explanation, he looked even more confused.

"So the body slows down on purpose, how?"

"The person slows it down."

"Why?"

"So they can take the time to think things over."

"Where is this man from?"

"Another world, kind of like me…or at least, that's how feel."

"Where do you get all of this?"

"From a book Legolas."

"Well it's ridiculous," he said suddenly, standing up.

"You are only labeling like that because you don' understand."

"No I'm labeling it as such because that is what it is."

"Whatever. My whole reason for bringing it up was to say I feel alienated, and overwhelmed. I wish I could just have some time to figure out everything, and just- grasp what's going on."

"You are making things more complicated than they truly are." He was beginning to look blank, and this puzzled me.

"How can I make thins more complicated than it is? I woke up this morning and found out that everything I thought was my world wasn't my world at all."

"You are over-reacting Linwe, just let everything flow."

"Let everything flow? I raised an eyebrow," I can't just breathe underwater Legolas; you're not making any sense."

"I'm not making sense, or you just can't comprehend what I'm saying?" He sat back, looking almost-smug.

"You enjoy this?" I said, standing up, "you do."

"I said nothing of the sort."

"But you thought it; I can see it in your face."

"Linwe stop being difficult," he said sternly, annoyed.

"Is that supposed to be a command you expect me to follow or something? What, is that how you guys do it here in Middle-Earth?" His presence was only making me even more upset.

"Linwe please," he stood, coming towards me.

"Legolas, I want you to leave." I put my hand out to stop his advance.

"You don't mean that," he took my hand and tried to kiss it, but I pulled it from his grasp.

"Yes, I do."

"No."

"Fine. I'll leave." I opened the door, and stalked down the hall. Who the hell did he think he was anyway? This Legolas of Mirkwood…and what made him think he could tell me what to do? Lots in my thoughts, I turned a corner, and slammed into something hard, hitting the ground with a thud.


	8. StarryEyed Surprise

Just wanted to say thanx for the reviews...they make me feel warm inside

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**Disc: if you recognize anyone...they're not mine.**

"Tonight…stars

Tonight I'm seeing stars

Tonight…stars

Tonight I'm seeing stars"

-Paul Oakenfold/Shifty Shellshock(Starry-Eyed Surprise)

Stars burst into my vision as I found myself suddenly on the floor. "Are you alright?" A melodic voice asked; it was male, but it wasn't Legolas. This voice was much richer, almost musical in tone. As the stars cleared from my vision I saw exactly what, or rather who, I had collided with. He was extremely attractive, with long blond hair, and deep blue eyes that spoke volumes. A long proud nose and a seductively sculpted mouth completed his features which were strong, unlike of Legolas. As my eyes traveled down, I realized he just got better. I was in the process of taking in his legs when his voice intercepted my thoughts.

"Would you like me to help you up, or would you rather sit there and gawk?" He raised his eyebrows, offering a hand. A hot flush rose in my cheeks, and I blinked, realizing how I must have looked to him. He was strong, for he pulled me to my feet with ease, and his hand was warm.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Apparently," he smirked, and this annoyed me from some reason…until I realized I had yet to release his hand.

"Oh, um, sorry," I dropped his hand like it was on fire.

"Are you really?" The truth was, I wasn't entirely sure.

"Haldir," a female voice called. So that was his name. He turned in the direction of the sound, as did I. A slender young woman came into view, also an elf, I discovered. Her long brown hair was pulled away from her pale face, revealing a startling pare of grey eyes. "And who might this be?" She asked, placing a pale hand on his shoulder, she sported a large diamond ring; I connected the dots. They were either married or dating, but either way Haldir was unavailable. Wait a minute…So was I.

Mentally I chastised myself. Legolas and I had a small argument, and already my eyes were wandering. What kind of wife would I turn out to be? I blinked, realizing Haldir was studying me.

"I believe," he said slowly," That she is the long lost Princess Linwe of Mirkwood."

"You are correct," I said, hoping my tone hid my embarrassment.

"So this is Princess Linwe," the elf maiden said slowly.

"I am honored to be in your presence," Haldir bowed his head in what was supposed to be a respectful gesture, but his tone had hidden meaning. "I am Haldir, Marchwarden of Lothlorien, and this is Crysyne, handmaiden to the Lady of Light."

"What?" Greek would have made more sense.

"Linwe," Legolas' voice rang out. He advanced quickly, a worried look on his face. "Linwe I-" He stopped in mid sentence, a look of joy eclipsing the worry. At once he began speaking in fluent elvish to Haldir of Lothlorien, who greeted him respectfully. I silently promised myself I'd learn elvish, for I understood nothing that was said.

"I don't mean to interrupt but, I can't understand a word of what you're saying."

"The princess of Mirkwood speaks no elvish?" Haldir raised his eyebrows.

"It is only until her memory returns," said Legolas. He looked at me, the softness of his eyes an apology. I smiled in acceptance, and he slipped his hand into mine.

"So the legend is true?" Crysyne asked.

"Oh how rude of me, Legolas, this is the Lady Crysyne, handmaiden to Galadriel." Crysyne bowed her head in respect, her eyes downcast.

"It is love to have met you, Lady Crysyne," Legolas said.

"Please, just Crysyne," she said, blushing.

"But you are a lady, I cannot."

"Then you should not," Haldir interjected, "by all means Legolas."

There was a silence that followed, in which I recovered my pride. Something electric was in the air, although I couldn't quite pinpoint what the something was.

"Well, should we not show them to their rooms Legolas?" I broke the silence.

"You are absolutely right melamin, we should." Holding my hand, Legolas led Haldir and Crysyne to their rooms. When Crysyne had shut her door, he turned to me. "All is-well between us then?" His eyes held repressed hope.

"Yes Legolas, all is well."

"Good. Now if you will forgive me, I must leave you," he tried to release my hand but I held tight. He looked up at me in surprise, "Linwe?"

"Where are you going?"

"There are some matters that I must discuss with my father," he smiled, "we have many years together to make up for lost time." He kissed my cheek and ran down the hall, taking the scent of rosewood with him.

I wandered the halls of Mirkwood palace, lost in my thoughts, still shaken by everything that had occurred. So much in one day…I had expected nothing when I awoke this morning, nothing but my loneliness to greet my twenty years, and now, all was changed. In one day I had met my father, discovered I was married, entered Middle Earth-discovered Middle Earth. I sight, entering one of Mirkwood's gardens. Strange, colorful flowers adorned the statues and walls. A fountain was center, stone cared intricately with flowers and symbols, remind me of the Celts. I settled myself on the soft grass near the fountain, and leaned my head against the stone. Closing my eyes, I listened to water flowing from the fountain, my mind drifting into the lazy thoughts of slumber.

"Starry-eyed surprise," I whispered, drifting into sleep.


	9. I'm wide awake, it's morning

**Thanx for all the reviews...keep em comin**

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"Oh won't you come with me,

and walk this land

please…take my hand"

-Iron Butterfly

I woke up to a cool breeze and the dark sky. Night had fallen as I rested in the garden. I stood up, brushing fallen leaves and grass from the back of my dress. All around me were night sounds, unlike anything that I was accustomed to. I turned my gaze to the sky; littered with millions of stars, diamonds strewn across a blue blanket…a back lit canopy with holes punched in it; Incubus. Yet another reminder that I wasn't home.

I sighed and began to search the sky for the North Star; maybe it would comfort me in this foreign world. I don't know how long I searched, several hours perhaps, but I couldn't find it at all. "Where is it?" I said into the darkness.

"Where is what?" a voice said. I turned towards the sound; Haldir of Lothlorien surveyed me from the entrance to the garden. The shadows played with the light tones in his blue eyes, giving them a somewhat ethereal glow.

"The north star," I said quietly, turning away from him.

"You were so still, I almost mistook you for a garden figurine," he drew closer, a teasing smirk on his face.

"Funny," I said.

"May I share your sky?" Haldir asked gently, his eyes kind.

"It isn't my sky, but yeah." He stood beside me, a silent presence. "There are so many stars," my voice was a whisper, "I've never seen the sky look so alien."

"How do you mean?"

"You really wanna know?" I looked over at him.

"Well that is why I asked, yes, I'd like to know," he smiled at me in the darkness.

"Well, like, the sky doesn't look like this back ho-back where I used to live. There are not as many stars, because there's too much artificial light." I looked down, watching the wind blow through the grass at my feet, "It bothered me then, the man-made light, but…it was really a comfort."

"Man-made light?" He was puzzled.

"Yes," I shook my head, "but this world is so different to me."

"Well you've only been here for one day, you cannot expect to feel at home so soon."

"How did you know I've only been here for one day?"

"Your husband." He was silent a moment, and I took the opportunity to study him out of my peer vision. He stood perfectly still, his ramrod posture so like a soldier. HE is a marchwarden, Linwe, I thought to myself with a smile. His blue eyes were lifted to the sky, and there was a thoughtful, relaxed expression on his face. "Yes?" He said, turning to meet my eyes.

"I didn't say anything," I said, looking away.

"But you wanted to." He raised a pair of perfectly arched eyebrows.

"Well…" I trailed off.

"Mm-hm?" He waited expectantly.

I exploded.

"That's just it Haldir, they expect me to know everything so sudden. What I used to do, how I used to behave, the way things are here." Exasperated I threw my hands up in the air, then realized all I'd said. I had only just met Haldir, and already I was telling him my life story. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this. You don't wanna know my life story."

"There is no need to apologize Linwe, I do not mind."

"Of course that's what you say-"

"I never say things I don't mean." The sincerity in his voice made me trust him, this elf I barely knew. We talked under the stars, and I learned about Haldir, Lothlorien, and what it means to really listen to someone.

When the sun began to streak the sky with hues of pink and orange, I blinked, realizing it was morning. "We have talked all night…its morning."

We had settled ourselves on the soft grass side by side, our backs pressed against the fountain. Haldir looked up in surprise, the sun caught the spun gold that was his hair.

"So we have," his lips parted in an unconscious smile, as he turned his gaze to the rising sun."

"I don't want to," I murmured, knowing confusion awaited me.

"But you must," he said, rising to his feet, "and so must I. come," he held out his hand, helping me to my feet, "we shall return to the palace."

"Linwe," the voice of Legolas broke through the reverie of the garden. Haldir immediately released my hand; the open, relaxed expression on his face changed to one of indifference.

Legolas, looking about as well rested as I felt, came into the garden. His eyes flitted from Haldir to me, and then back to Haldir again. "Where have you been Linwe?" He turned to me, "I have been looking everywhere for you. I went to your room and found it empty."

"Perhaps you should have checked the garden," Haldir commented dryly. Legolas gave him a look, then turned his attention back to me.

"I have been here all along Legolas," I said, twirling a flower I'd plucked from a bush, "if you would have passed by, you would have found me. Where were you?" An amused expression settled on Haldir's face, a small ghost of a smile on his lips.

"I was out searching for you," Legolas sighed in exasperation, "I looked everywhere."

"Except here…why?"

"I suppose I stopped briefly to talk with Crysyne," why did you not come to bed?"

"It's not like were in it," I retorted, slightly annoyed.

"How would you know?"

"Legolas please, you're wearing the same thing you wore yesterday, you know you didn't go to your room." He looked down, noticing perhaps for the first time he hadn't changed.

"Well…maybe I just wanted to wear this again."

"And maybe, you didn't."

A peevish sigh escaped his lips, "perhaps this was not the best way to approach you."

"Damn straight." At this both Haldir and Legolas looked shocked; and I figured, perhaps the noble women of Middle-Earth did not use such coarse language.

"You must not say such things Linwe," Legolas chastised, "they are inappropriate."

"Yeah, okay, but I have a question," I tucked the flower behind my ear, "why, if you were so concerned, didn't you check the garden?"

"It's just as well, I didn't, you seem perfectly alright, socializing with the Marchwarden," his eyes sparked with accusation, "or maybe that's not all you were doing?" He picked a piece of grass out of my hair; it must have fallen from the fountain.

"Legolas, I came out into the garden to sort out my thoughts and I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was nightfall, and Haldir had come-and why and I explaining this to you?"

"Because I am your eldar, your husband, and I deserve an explanation."

"But you didn't give me one," I said.

"Well, I apologize. After the meeting with my father, the king, I paused to talk with Crysyne." Haldir, who had been making his way out of the garden, stopped in his tracks, and turned around.

"All night?"

"Well…"

"And you just left me here!"

"Linwe please."

"Please? Please what?"

"Control yourself, you are making a scene."

"So I guess now you've just declared yourself my daddy."

"You're what?"

"Why were you with Crysyne?" Haldir broke through our heated conversation.

"Do you not see me talking?" He raised his eyebrows, and I did the same. "We're trying to have an argument, can we please have our argument, do you mind? Thank-you."

"You may have your argument just as soon as I am told what Legolas was doing with Crysyne."

"Don't you know it's rude to interrupt people?"

"Linwe, silence at this moment, is golden." His tone changed to one of extreme annoyance.

"Oh, so now you think you can tell me what to do as well?"

"Maybe you should listen."

"Don't tell my wife what she can and cannot do," he slid his arm around my shoulders possessively, but I didn't appreciate it.

"How about both of you stop telling Linwe what to do," I said, sliding out of Legolas' reach.

"Someone has to do it," Haldir murmured, blue eyes sparked with mischief. I realized then he was deliberately trying to annoy Legolas.

"And it should be me," the insulted elf replied waspishly.

"Maybe not," Haldir smiled.

"What exactly are you trying to imply Marchwarden," his voice was ice now.

"What do you think I'm trying to say, your Highness?"

"Okay can we just stop with these senseless mind games?" I was exasperated with both of them. Both elves turned towards me in shock. "Legolas," I said softly, "I know you wouldn't lie to me.

"Never, I"-

"Fine. I believe you when you say you were only talking with Crysyne. I believe you lost track of time as I did. No one's trying to steal anyone else's wife/husband/girlfriend/fiancé/boyfriend/eldar/ whatever you wanna call it." The two elves regarded me, each with an expression of expectance, as if wondering when I'd shut-up.

"Are you finished?" Haldir asked, a smirk on his face.

"I give up!" Exasperated, I stalked out of the garden. My peaceful morning had been ruined by male bravado.


	10. My December

"This is my December,

this is my time of the year

this is my December

this is all so clear

And I ( Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed)

Take back all the things I said to make you feel like this

And I (Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed)

take back all the things that I said to you

This is my December

this is my snow covered home

this is me pretending

this is me alone

And I

am fine

and I…

and I'd

give it all away

just to have someplace to go to

give it all away

to have someone to come home to

This is my December

these are my snow covered trees

this is my December

this is all I need

and I…am fine

and I

and I'd

give it all away

just to have a place to go to

give it all away

to have someone to come home to

this is my December

this is my time of the year

this is my December

this is all so clear

-Linkin Park (My December)

I sat in the far corner of the library, immersed in my thoughts. This was where I had fled after the incident in the garden. Time, time was what I needed, time to understand what had happened, what was happening. What was happening?

Life would have been so much easier if I could just place my feelings, for Haldir, and Legolas…for everyone. What was I to do? As I sat there, trying to lose myself in a large velvet chair, all I could think about was how much easier everything used to be. It was simple, wasn't it? I could make everything go away if I could just go back to earth, the earth I lived on. Back to my life as myself, without Legolas and Mirkwood. Back to the emptiness, the feeling that I didn't belong…I felt that here. It was almost as if I'd never left earth. If I went back to earth, in spite of the loneliness…I would miss Haldir.

A stranger, yet not. We had connected in the garden, under the stars, and I knew it.

"Linwe," Haldir's voice broke through my thoughts.

"You are always sneaking up on me March warden."

"Are we no longer on a first name basis?" He raised his eyebrows, blue eyes searching my lavender ones; I looked away.

"We are," I said slowly, twisting the silver ring on my left hand.

"Then call me by my name." He settled in the chair across from me.

"Haldir."

"Better." We were silent for a time; he studied me, while I searched for anything else to look at, besides his eyes. "You're avoiding me." The tone in his voice told me he was amused.

"Way to state the obvious." His laughter rang out, clear and musical.

"Why?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"Is it because of what happened in the garden, with you and I?

"Yes…and no."

"Then it's because of the argument that I had with your husband."  
"I don't know," my eyes were started to well up. He watched me for a moment, then knelt in from of me.

"Then it is because you are on the verge of tears."

"No," I whispered, afraid if I raid my voice, he'd know I was lying.

"You are, I see them now." I closed my eyes, hiding them from his searching gaze. A hot tear trickled down my cheek, and I felt him gently brush it away with his finger. I opened my eyes, and looked into his. Clear, honest…they said so much. Thoughts I wanted to know, words I wanted to hear. I broke, sobbing into my hands, the guilt of my feelings and the confusion of my heart all too much. He gathered me into his arms, his gentle hands smoothing my hair. He whispered words of elvish into my ear, comforting me in my distress.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, raising my head, "It's just …this is a lot to deal with…and Legolas and- I know you didn't come here to let me soak your tunic with tears." He smiled then, a radiance that lit up his face with light. I looked down, and the moment was lost…the silence swallowing us.

"Um…thanks Haldir."

"You are most welcome," he replied.

"Um…if you'll excuse me," I made my way to the door quickly.

"Until next time," He smiled and turned to the rows of books blanketing the walls. I slipped out of the library, closing the door behind me. The sun had risen fully now, and it shined bright patches of light into the palace. I walked down the hall, seeking out something.

Before you can know who you are, you have to know who you were. I shoved this to the black caverns of my mind; I had only been here a day for goodness sake. Maybe Haldir was right, maybe I was being too hard on my self. It was strange to me to endure so much turmoil in one little day.

Exhausted, that's what I was, exhausted from all this excitement. Maybe it wouldn't hurt me to find solace in the comfort of my dreams. I sought out my room, dodging all forms of life. I did not wish to talk to anyone; all I wanted was to rest. There, I could be free. I opened the door to what looked like my room, and crawled under the covers of the large bed. Closing my eyes, I slipped into the world of release and slept.


	11. author's note

Do you guys think I should continue this? I have almost 300 pages written, but I wrote this when I was 17, and I'm almost 20 now and it seems so cheesy!

Let me know what you think…I'd love to hear your opinions.

Oh..by the way, check out my other story…ITS more recent.


	12. A Promise

**Thanx Rini…this is for you.**

**------------------**

My eyes opened slowly as I returned to the world of the conscious, into the sleeping face of Legolas. He lay across from me, the picture of peace, his breathing soft and rhythmic. My face flushed with the memory of Haldir and me in the library…of Haldir and me in general…

Our attraction was unmistakable. To deny it would be foolish…but in spite of the way I felt, I knew Legolas did not deserve it. I couldn't let the fact that we didn't know each other destroy the marriage before it even became one. What lay between Haldir and I was mere attraction, and perhaps a budding friendship. Legolas and I had history together…a live…and one day-love.

"You are awake," his voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I blinked, allowing my eyes to focus on his.

"Hello Legolas…" my voice trailed off at the expression in his eyes. Both of us wanted to speak, but he seemed as unsure as I did.

"I'm sorry", he touched my cheek gently with the back of his hand, his eyes searching mine.

"I know…me too."

"Dinner is about to be served your highness," outside the door, the voice of Tinuel broke through the calm that had begun to settle around us.

"Thank-you Tinuel," Legolas called, raising himself in an upright position.

"Wait…how did she know you were here?" I asked, sitting up as well.

"It is my room Linwe," he said, sliding his tunic over his head. As he did so, the muscles rippled slightly in his back, waves under white cream.

"Oh my God," I said turning around, "what are you doing?"

"I'm getting dressed for dinner." I could not see his face, but I could hear the bewildered tone in his voice.

"But…but I'm in here." Was he crazy?

"What's your point?" I heard him walk towards me, and closed my eyes, "And why are you closing your eyes?"

"Cause you don't have any clothes on." I squeezed them tighter.

"I have leggings on, Linwe don't be absurd. Come on, open your eyes."

I opened them a crack. He was standing in front of me, lean arms crossed in front of his chest. His blond hair fell like silk over his milky shoulders, and a smirk played on his lips, "hello, princess."

"Hi." I opened them both now, and trained my eyes on his face. Don't look down don't look down, don't look down, I repeated this in my head.

"Is something wrong?" He uncrossed his arms, and my eyes tried not to follow his movements.

"No, no," my voice came out in a girlish squeak.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah…yeah I'm sure." I looked down at my feet.

"Do you not like what you see?"

"Excuse me?" I looked up, he was smiling.

"Do you not like what you see?" He brushed his hair away from his shoulders.

"Um…"

"It's not a difficult question," he knelt down in front of me, resting his hands on my knees.

"Can we please change the subject?"

"And what would you have us discuss?" He leaned in closer, and my thoughts of leaning back were killed by the fact that I would've leaned back into the bed…oh boy. "What does Princess Linwe wish to talk about?" He leaned his forehead against mine.

"Well I was wondering"-

"Yes?" He kissed the tip of my nose with those soft lips of his.

"When you were going to put a shirt on." His eyes sparkled, and I looked away. For once, I did not wanna know what he was thinking.

"Linwe, I'm not down there," he whispered, and I slowly raised my eyes.

"You're going to kiss me, aren't you?"

"Mm-hm." He kissed me then, his tongue gently sliding between my lips. I relaxed a bit, letting myself enjoy it, placing a hand on one of his shoulders. At once his arms were around me, a gentle hold around my waist. His kisses were having the strangest effect on me…I was losing all rational thought, and my mind felt hazy…just as I was beginning to lean back into the bed he pulled away slightly, searching my eyes. "Am I going too fast Melamin?"

"Huh?" I blinked my mind still foggy.

"I said," he laughed, "am I going too fast."

"Um…" No no no… "Maybe."

"Shall we go join the others for dinner, I am not hungry for food, but perhaps you are." He smiled secretively, and I considered not going…rationality won.

"I think we should join them." He pulled me to my feet, his arms never leaving my waist. Smiling softly, he kissed my cheek. "I'm going to go change," I whispered.

"Alright, but…promise me something?"

"Tell me what it is first."

"That you will consider moving into my room, tonight."

"Tonight?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Promise." He put a finger to my lips, and before I could stop myself, I kissed it.

"I promise." He brushed the hair that escaped my braids from my eyes.

"Are you sure you're hungry?" His eyes were on my lips; I licked them involuntarily and he pulled me closer. "We could always get one of the servants to bring something up."

"I'm sure Legolas," I had to smile at his perseverance; he sighed.

"Alright then, I'll see you at your door in a bit."

"Bye Legolas," I slipped out of the room, and headed down the hall towards my own.


End file.
